


weird around you

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love, all undercase, somewhat poetry / prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 01:58:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8426251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: confessing seems just a little bit pointless with a ( girl ) like you-a collection of poems in which roxy lalonde attempts to deal with her feelings through quite unhealthy methods .





	1. despondency

you wouldn't dare tell her all the things you think about her ,

on sleepless nights ,

drinking yourself to near - death .

besides , she has him -

and that's enough for her . more than enough , even . he's perfect for her .

and you suppose he's nice enough .

your hatred is just bred for him by association .

you will never get to touch her like he will .

* * *

 

sometimes , during sleepovers -

you'll gaze into her eyes when she's snorting at a dumb joke you made .

and you wonder how such a goddess could befriend you .

and you wonder how dare a mortal fall for a goddess like her .

* * *

alcohol helps , at first .

vodka drowns your throat and all you can think about is the fire inside of your lungs .

it is fuel -

it fuels your fires for her .

and suddenly your alcoholism and your immense love for her makes sense .

* * *

many a time , before she was with him ,

you two would fool around together .

a little flirting here , a little there .

it was the highest compliment you could receive ,

after all , no mere mortal simply receives a compliment from a god , saying -

" But not as pretty as you ;B " .

* * *

you've had a few experiences with him before .

he's nice , he's relaxed , he is stone , he is consistency in a changing world .

and that is why she likes him , not you -

because you are not stone ,

you are fire ,

constantly burning and alighting , flames of anger burning through the wood of your emotions .

how could someone ever love fire ?

* * *

there are days

you slump on your computer

and talk to dirk about these things .

after your words that illustrate her beauty in high definition ,

all he can say is

" I'm sorry. I wish I could help with your uncontrollable feelings. "

and you wish he could too

because constantly setting fires on your lungs

on nights on where you are reminded of the facts that

she will never love you like that

is not healthy .

* * *

suicide you have considered ,

several times .

it is an overreaction , but regardless -

you don't .

for the sole reason

your stupid , stupid , brain still has hope

that she could love you

like that

one day .


	2. comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you're a friend and a good one  
> -  
> just being around her helps .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is more prose than poetry  
> i've been informed that prose is telling a story and poetry is just poems

sometimes ,

you will sob til your bones hurt

not about her

but about other things .

and you will tell her

and she scoops you up in her gentle arms ,

and holds you close

she strokes your hair

and it's all you've ever wanted ,

all you've ever needed .

* * *

she makes you feel wanted , even .

there in her arms .

her smell is homely

and you can hear her heart beating

( a little bit faster than average , should you add . )

you nuzzle into her chest ,

as she giggles and strokes your hair again .

she traces circles on your back and you believe

this is what happiness is like .

* * *

eventually , you must go home

( to your home as in house .

really though , she is your true home . )

and you wish you didn't have to .

her dad waves you off

and her goodbye smile

is everything right in the world .

* * *

you talk to her later about your time spent together .

she says , " It was pretty gosh diddly darn fun. I simply adore spending time with you, you know. "

you have to bury your face in your pillow to stop the blush on your face from spreading .

* * *

you know you will never be able to deal with it .

this is a thing you cannot get over .

however ,

the time you do spend with her

makes your tolerance a bit more worthwhile .

**Author's Note:**

> sadfic based on certain romantic situations currently occurring in my life , at this moment , to me . based on the song weird around you by eerie summer .


End file.
